Faking It

Clear communication is the key to all successful relationships, be they personal, business or--dare I say it?--political.  I've been lucky enough to fail at a few relationships before finding one that really worked.  Now I know that consistent honesty is what really works.  This relates to many different aspects of relationships, but there is one lie I wish every vagina in the world would promise to never tell again: the fake orgasm.

My friend Caroline's vagina admitted to me that she has faked it in the past.  She figured that her pleasure wasn't as important a goal as her partner's.  Obviously, sex was always the same with them, and she eventually her ability to enjoy it diminished.  Her short-term goal of improving his immediate pleasure had negative consequences in the long-term, tainting their relationship with an untruth that became increasingly apparent to her while he was unaware.  The real way to maximize his pleasure is to ask for (or, depending on the penis, demand) the things that really gets a vagina going, whether it's "A little to the right," or "That angle is perfect!"  If Caroline's vagina were really into her partner, she should have expressed her interest in continuing to play with him by giving him honest feedback.  That way, he would have learned what she really wanted, and they would have both gotten much better at sex.

My friend Anne's vagina also says she faked, but only once, to make the penis she was playing with finish up faster.  Maybe he was suffering from anorgasmia, but from the sounds of it, she didn't give him any help.  All she did was lie there and wait, bored, until she decided (without consulting him at all) that he would probably finish up if he thought she had climaxed.  Unsurprisingly, neither of them had interest in having better sex the next time.  When I'm having sex and I feel satisfied before my partner, I just redouble my efforts to finish my partner off.  If I'm playing with a vagina, I ignore how tired my fingers or tongue have gotten and just dedicate myself to giving her at least one more big orgasm.  If I'm playing with a penis, I rock my hips and grind against him, maybe wrapping my legs around his body.  It also helps to literally tell my partner I want him or her to climax.

Genitals can save themselves a lot of awkwardness, disappointment and embarassment by initiating the dialogue.  They can say what makes them feel best, and ask for candid feedback on where and how they are stimulating their partners.  This level of intimacy can improve the romantic and/or sexual aspects of the relationship... whether it's love, friendship or just two bodies having fun.



Today's panties: tan under a tan skirt.  I like to match.